Don't know what to do...?

I am confused as hell about my life and haven't a clue as to where to go from here. I turned 19 (I know "shouldn't be posted here" this is for younger kids) in May and still live at home (I'm attending a junior college now, and will live here until I graduate) but I just feel so... lost. Completely lost. I haven't made a friend at my junior college, and haven't found a single person I "click" with. My father acts as if he hates me 24/7, and the only positive outlook the stayed constant in my life.. my grandfather, bless him died six months ago. And my grandmother Alzheimer's is rapidly getting worse. My grandparents and my mother were basically my entire world. Every week my mother and I would see my grandparents and have lunch with them, go shop at a couple of stores and they'd tell me how proud of me that they were. And now with my grandma basically gone, and my grandpa deceased I feel like everything is so monotonous and life is pointless. You bust your *** so in the end.. so you can die. My grandpa pushed my mom to excel in everything and I without him we're beside ourselves. I haven't had a friend in like 10 years, and have never had a boyfriend because my dad f'd me up psychologically (he's a mean drunk) and I don't know what I have to do in order to make friends let alone a b/f. I be as nice as humanly possible, but apparently my efforts are futile. I must've tried to be friends with 30 people at least. Please don't think I'm going to kill myself, I'm not. But I don't want to be so alone. Can anyone give me some advice on what I should do?