So, I was told again that she wants a divorce...?

Because once you hear it so many times, you start to not actually believe it. And now that she's going thru with it, you're rightfully shocked and hurt since you love her. If she's doing it, then you know its serious and could be forever. Give her and yourself space to work thru your own demons and move forward. It may take some time, but you will eventually see the good in her leaving. Just be patient, keep yourself busy and don't blame yourself for her giving up on your relationship. Sorry for this loss in your life and good luck