How do I save my marriage?

First I would like to thank everyone who responds. I am a 23 year old female who has been married for almost 2 years now. I have a step son and two biological sons by my husband. We have been struggling lately in ways I never imagined we would and I am at a loss as to what we can do. We have both said and done very hurtful things to each other in the past and neither one of us knows how to fix the damage that's been done. I could write out a long post about how "terrible" he is and how "right" I am but that wouldn't do anything to solve or alleviate what we are going through. I feel betrayed yes but I'm sure he does too. He is the man I chose to spend the rest of my life with and that isn't a commitment that I take lightly and its not one I intend to break. I am miserable though. We don't even know how to talk to each other. Between work and the children and just life's stresses we are both tired and overwhelmed and depressed. We can't hold a conversation with each other and trust each other enough to believe a word of what is being said. Sometimes I feel like my desire to make it work is futile because he doesn't seem to be willing to do what it takes to make us work. To accept fault in himself. I'm sure this has to do with his self-esteem and I can understand that because I have low self-esteem too and it has been a harsh reality check working this out in my head. Please I need to know what can be done to heal us. Is there something I can do to get him to open up to me? What are some things I should avoid doing? Please any advice you could give me would be greatly appreciated!